sun has left helsinki

I could not sleep during my last night in Helsinki. My mind was full of T, and the pretty happy moments we spent together. It was rather sad that our last night ended quite awkward. I felt that at his place, even though both of us were together, it felt like both of us were in our own different world. Of course, with the husky and the card in my bag, it was hard.

I tried my best to sleep, but I can’t. I tried to catch a nap in the living room, but my mind was full of T. Sometime, the “IF” scenario came into my mind. I was pretty emotional, but I never cried. This morning, I was locked out of my building. As I had two luggage to pull, I get one out of the building, but left the other one behind. I rang my neighbours doors, but no one bothered. Desperate, I called the locksmith, but he asked “Puhun Suomea?”, I replied, no finnish, English, English. And I was pretty desperate. I called T for help. T helped to contact the locksmith and explained my situation and I managed to get my luggage back.

When I heard T voice on the phone, I felt at ease, really at ease. While waiting for the locksmith, I was laughing at myself, how I panick, “kanchiong” is a better word to describe my feeling. T came to my rescue, for the first time in a long long time? I felt bad, as T had to work, and it was 5am!

On the bus, I was telling myself, that from the heart of my bottom, I really like T. Mina Rakatan Sinua. “I love you” in Finnish. At the airport, as expected, my luggages were over the allowance, it was 23+9. The lady wanted to charge me half of the exceeded baggage weight, and I had to pay about 50euros! So I started to throw out my stuff, and luckily, she was sympathetic enough to let me go through without charges.

After clearing the baggage and security check, I called T. After all, I have nothing to lose, and I really love T. However, while chatting, I chickened out, and never mentioned about it. I sent T an sms, but I don’t think T replied. I wont know cos now, I am in Germany. I will miss hanging out with T.

The flight out of Helsinki on finnair was much better than the flight going into Helsinki. It was comfy, I got an emergency row seat, and it was pretty empty, less than 50% full. The food was decent, and the service was good, even though the seats are worn out. Nevertheless, it was a good flight. Arrival in Frankfurt terminal 2 was much better than terminal 1. I don’t have to go through a long way to collect my luggage. However, the trip to the train terminal was pretty long. If only they have sky trains like Singapore.

I cant wait to meet Ashar. I am glad that he is with me when I am feeling down. I guess he could really understand my feelings. I am glad I didn’t travel immediately after my departure from Helsinki. The sun is out, and nice weather at 17C in Frankfurt.

Now, I am just too tired to be emotional or enjoy the weather. Just like the blink of the eyes, I have left Helsinki for good, my home for almost 5 months. Now, typing the last sentence, I really feel like crying, but I am not going to cry in the public, at the airport. I love you Helsinki, and I love you T. May our paths cross again. The sun in Europe, no longer Helsinki.